QUEST FOR HOLIDAY JOY
End of the year holiday season is by far not my favorite holiday. For various reasons, I have always just taken on the approach of hiding until it is over and a new year begins with a promise of a fresh start. I do not remember myself feeling particularly merry or joyful during the month of December. I remember trying to feel that way. However, trying to feel something what is simply not there is a losing game from the very beginning. We can try to create many things, but trying to make ourselves feel what does not seem to be there ... seems fake.
Every Small english release is connected to my feelings. The stuff that's going on in my head and heart and then it goes into the world in the form of posters, sweaters, t-shirts, rings and other items. I essentially create drawings to solve an issue which bothers me. Then I put that drawing on an object and wear it until the neurological pattern in my brain is changed and particular types of situations no longer bother me. This year, it was time to look into why I go into Grinch mode during December and to see how I could help myself to be a little more merry and a little less grumpy.
I decided to embrace the uncomfortable feeling I get from all the expectations during the month of December. I would not hide. I would drag my llama self to the gatherings and meetups and parties ... and while I am at these meetups and parties and gatherings, I would wear an armour which could remind me that I don't need to bear the weight of the world because I am unable to get on the bandwagon of "yay-it's-Christmas".
The journey of creating Small english in many ways has been a journey of self discovery. It has been like holding up a mirror. And this holiday season I will try to look in the mirror and remind myself that I am wrapped in joy and all the stresses can bounce off because it is truly my choice whether I take them on. I will report back to you in January of how this worked out (or maybe it won't work out at all, who knows...)
All my love,
All of the sweaters are sustainably made and printed in Amsterdam. If you wish to have one for yourself, this is a link to the shop.