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Some days things do not go as planned, some weeks do not necessarily end on the high note & some years are filled with a little less of a positive glow than others.

2017 had a few bumps along the road in Llamaland. Mainly caused by a fact that I spent my days working. All the time. Never not working mode full blast. One of my clients was in a different time zone, very often I had no idea of what time it was or what day it was. After one of the long days, I was biking home and my mind was a million miles away from the road which resulted into me losing a couple of teeth (accidents are awful, yikes). I got the teeth fixed the next day. However. I did not get the problem solved. And when a problem does not get solved, it has a tendency to grow bigger.

My problem was that I was not getting any chill time. I essentially did not know how to relax. I did not know how to find time to let my mind rest. I did not know when to stop going. I kept working the same hours, I kept moving forward. I kept doing the same thing over and over until the only thing looking fresh about me were my brand new teeth. To be fair... the mad working was also related to the fact that buying new teeth is not cheap (read it - it wiped out my savings, I could not travel to my friends weddings, I felt embarrassed about it, so I did not tell anyone which resulted into more isolation, the freakin' cycle of shame and negativity was ON combined with a return of old habits of not eating well or simply just not eating enough).

My mindset was very much into the mode of finishing one project, after another and then if I get to do that I will be fine. Shockingly enough. It is not how it works. A friend of mine came to visit and served me a a good mix of cold truth & homemade comfort food. After that I made PIZZA PASTA DOUGHNUTS sweater as my ultimate chill time outfit. If I had not worn it at least once a is a sign for me that I had not done my job to rest up & fill my belly with some delicious carbs.

Essentially everything I make on Small english webshop comes from all the feels coming right from my heart and when someone who got the sweatshirt told me that it feels like wearing a hug, my little llama heart filled with joy and sentiment of THIS IS WHY I MADE IT!!!

Stay safe, work out & eat well ✌

All my love,


Important side note. These sweatshirts are sustainably made. They are printed in Amsterdam. This is a link to the shop.

Pretty photos

Not so glamorous shot by moi

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